If you thought the Pelicans’ win on Friday was the biggest headline of the night…
OH.
YOU.
WERE.
WRONG.
Because Luka Dončić, fresh off casually ruining defenders’ lives on the court, decided to step off the hardwood and immediately start ruining careers linguistically. And no, I’m not talking about basketball breakdowns. I’m talking about a roast so effortless it deserves its own Player of the Game award.
It all started when someone God bless this brave reporter asked Luka about his English skills.
And Luka, being Luka, basically said:
“I speak better English than Rui! And he went to college… obviously I didn’t.”
AND THE ROOM JUST 💀💀💀
Collapsed.
Luka OUT HERE giving free ESL lessons
Let’s be honest: when people ask athletes questions after a game, they’re usually expecting something generic like:
- “We played hard.”
- “We trusted each other.”
- “We executed the game plan.”
NOT:
“I speak better English than Rui Hachimura AND Austin Reaves.”
Luka did not just drift away from the script he ripped the script, signed it, and handed it back as a souvenir.
We’ve seen Luka drop 40-point triple doubles like he’s ordering fast food…
But this level of bilingual SAVAGERY?
That’s new.
“He went to college… obviously I didn’t.”
LUKA. SIR. PLEASE. 💀😂
This is elite comedy timing.
Luka basically gave himself a whole documentary backstory:
- No college experience
- No NCAA highlight reels
- No campus parties
- No dorm drama
Yet still out here speaking English like he majored in “Clown My Teammates 101.”
Meanwhile Rui…
MINDING HIS BUSINESS
SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY
PROBABLY RECOVERING FROM PRACTICE.
“LUKA DONCIC EXPOSES RUI’S GPA”
Man didn’t even do anything.
Just caught the stray bullet AND the ricochet.
AND THEN… THE REPORTER MADE IT WORSE 😭
As if Luka’s joke wasn’t spicy enough, a reporter jumped in with:
“You speak better English than Austin!”
I swear journalists be waking up some days choosing PURE CHAOS.
The reporter essentially said:
“Hey Luka, here’s more gasoline, feel free to pour it.”
And Luka…
Luka did EXACTLY THAT:
“Yeah… that’s not hard.”
BRO.
BROOOOO.
💀😭😂🔥
Austin Reaves did NOT deserve this random drive by disrespect.
This is manslaughter in multiple languages.
Luka’s Trash Talk > Most Players’ Entire Offensive Packages
We all know Luka’s skillset includes:
- Stepback threes
- Slow but unstoppable drives
- Jedi-level court vision
- Trash talk in four different languages
But this?
This was S tier troll behavior.
He wasn’t even sweating.
He didn’t warm up.
He just casually destroyed two grown men’s reputations with vocabulary alone.
In a league full of athletes who “take it one game at a time,” Luka is taking it one INSULT at a time and thriving.
Twitter/X Was NOT Ready
Within minutes, social media did what social media does it detonated like a microwave full of fireworks.
Fans posted:
- “Luka speaking English like he wrote the dictionary.”
- “Austin logging off for the night.”
- “Rui wondering how he got involved.”
- “This man needs a post-game translator to soften his insults.”
You know it’s bad when NBA fans from six time zones away are laughing.
Even the memes had memes.
Rui & Austin catching strays like they’re in a GTA mission
This is honestly the funniest part:
Neither Rui nor Austin was involved in the game’s headline.
Neither was being interviewed.
Neither probably even said a word to Luka that entire night.
Yet…
Luka pulled up with verbal artillery like:
- “Rui? Boom.”
- “Austin? Boom.”
- “English language supremacy? Boom.”
It was a triple kill.
If the NBA ever adds “Best Post Game Comedian” as an award just engrave Luka’s name NOW.
Luka might be the funniest superstar in the league
Forget the stats.
Forget the MVP talk.
This man is a walking sitcom.
Every season he gives us:
- Drama
- Chaos
- Clowning
- Iconic quotes
- Zero filter
- Unlimited smoke for anyone nearby
And this latest moment?
Straight up Hall of Fame material.
He really said:
“Your English? Mid.”
“Your college degree? Irrelevant.”
“Your self-esteem? Optional.”
WITH A SMILE.
So what did we learn today?
- Luka Dončić is fluent in basketball AND disrespect.
- Rui should never check his mentions after Luka speaks.
- Austin Reaves is somewhere reevaluating his whole life.
- The NBA needs closed captions just for Luka’s jokes.
- Luka’s English might genuinely be top-tier… even better than half the league.
And most importantly:
Never EVER ask Luka a question you don’t want answered with pure smoke.
He doesn’t miss.
On the court or off it.
